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Moment of Truth: Checking In With The Advisory Conservatives.

 

Welcome to the Moment of Truth: the thirst that is the drink.

I don’t think we have to worry about the radical left persuading everyone not to vote, once the Democrats settle on a candidate that isn’t that ratty old chewed up bathrobe, Joe Biden. What we have to worry about is the rightwing pundits in the New York Times persuading the DNC to think like they do. “The Democratic Party is being pulled too far to the left,” is the refrain of these noted left-haters. David Brooks, Bret Stephens, Sydney Ember – these are the creeps of which to beware. Don’t listen to them, DNC. Brooks: “Democrats, don’t alienate me with your Medicare for all.” Man, if Medicare for all makes you vote for Dump, you’re the same asshole who supported W Bush, despite your “come to Jesus” BS of the last couple years. Climate change denier Bret Stephens also cautions the Dems not to be pulled too far left. The only person who’s not too far left for Stephens is maybe Duterte in the Philippines. And Sydney Ember, who you’ve probably never heard of, just deals in anti-Bernie clickbait. They’re all Mickey Mouse versions of urethra blockage Tucker Carlson, who also advises the Dems that “being pulled too far to the left will alienate the moderate undecided voter” or some similar sentiment. Really? If the Dems avoid being pulled to the left, you’ll stop calling them the party of evil socialism? Tucker? Tucker?

Our old friend George F. Will is certainly going to be making noises along these lines as the election actually approaches. You know, it’s not really approaching right now. It sits like a shadow in the distance, on the highway pavement, viewed through the reticulated air rippling in the heat. You can’t tell how far away it is, or even if it’s real, if it’s a dark wet stain on the horizon or merely a mirage. But we’re acting like this is the election year. That may be good. Maybe overreacting early in the game will avoid disaster later. This is how we should be responding to global warming. But our system only allows for political overreaction, as opposed to practical, methodical, well-advised, or sane overreaction.

George Will recently appeared on the local Los Angeles NPR affiliate, KPCC, broadcast out of Pasadena City College. That is how far he’s fallen. He’s had to enter the palace of liberal news. Or maybe it’s the palace of liberal news that has fallen.

He opposes Dump, and was an early rejector, to his great credit. But don’t let that fool you. He still doesn’t believe in the people having a voice beyond a tightly circumscribed limit. You might remember when last I wrote of George F. Will, back when he was mocking General Wesley Clark for having the temerity to consider running for president. An Army General who would be president! A jumped-up pantry general who never knew his place. If even he’s too big for his britches, naturally the normal, rank-and-file non-professional masses need to be kept in check. And here’s Donald Dump to prove that point! Look at all those rascally masses, loving Donald the demagogue! Aren’t you glad we put those baffles in the Constitution between the public and the helm of state? Wait ... but ... Dump is president. The baffles didn’t work!

George Will is a moderate market anarchist. What George Will is, well, what he is, is a quantum theorist against the antique Cartesian socialists. Will’s on the cutting edge. The world has grown too complicated for government to do much, says he. Only markets, with their self-propelled complexity, their instinctual, natural agility, can do what needs to be done. Markets, those automatic geniuses of nature, they can understand the dual states of particle and wave, they are undaunted by uncertainty. Socialism means the State runs everything, says George Will, the Heisenberg of economics. The State, however, can only operate in Euclidian space time according to slow, out-of-date Newtonian laws. Like some kind of fat prehistoric sloth trying vainly to catch delicious cockroaches.

At least Will, David Brooks, and the likes of Bill Krystol and David Frum, have had the good sense to oppose Dump. But Alan Dershowitz! Saints preserve us. “Don’t get pulled too far to the left.” He offers his thoughts, much as I do, on everything, whether those thoughts have any chance of receiving a welcome or not. The difference between Dershowitz and myself, though, is that, where I am merely unqualified to offer certain thoughts, he is an actively wrong, tainted source of them. Like a drinking fountain labeled “arsenic.” He long ago hitched his wagon to a child rape entrepreneur, and not merely out of legal duty. Hanging with Jeff Epstein and Donald Dump, back in the day, made him “someone” – his word. Very important for Dersh to be “someone.” Remember when he cried about not being invited to events on the Vineyard anymore since vocally supporting Dump? What did he think he was missing out on? Does he really think liberals on Martha’s Vineyard are offering up their children at sick New England rape parties? What a creep. At this point I wouldn’t even let him babysit my cactus. Sorry, Dersh, but if your only source for children to rape was Jeff Epstein, that’s dried up, man. You’re going to have to have Dump introduce you to Putin and see if you can weasel your way into that circle, you grotesque sex criminal.

One person I haven’t heard from is Mancow, the Glenn Beck-eque Chicago radio personality who made the difficult transition from shock jock to D-list Fox News friend. Now he’s back on a show on WLS. I have no idea what it’s like. I have no desire to hear that voice again. But I wonder what he thinks about this Epstein thing. The grooming and recruiting and prostituting and rape of children. Les Wexner, CEO of L Brands, parent company of Victoria’s Secret, was both a client and a tight mate of Epstein. He gave Epstein his 21,000 square foot mansion for little to no money. The home Epstein’s lawyers are suggesting he be confined to, instead of jail like a normal person. Wexner bought Abercrombie & Fitch at one time, and right after he did, they began their slutty-half-naked-teenager-on-heroin ad campaign. The one that prompted Mancow to dub the company “Abercrombie & Filth.” What does Mancow make of Wexner’s closeness with Epstein and Epstein’s closeness with Dump?

Mostly, though, I would brave the nerve-grating timbre of his tonsils just to hear Mancow warn the Democratic Party not to be pulled too far to the left. “If you’re going to talk about Medicare For All you’re going to lose moderate voters” he might say in his flat Morning Madhouse growl that is the very definition of an obnoxious voice.

All these people calling themselves conservatives, coming in with their helpful advice for the Democrats. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Who do they think gives a flying turd?

It would be like me advising noted billionaire fraudster and liar and felon Jamie Dimon not to get too attached to his money. Learn to live within your means, Jamie! Can you imagine anything more ridiculous?

I do have some advice for a few of these clowns though, including Bill Clinton: don’t sexually assault children. It’s not really a left or right issue, is it? I mean, of course I believe that fascists are more likely to facilitate the rape of children, but really, it’s something that bleeds across the entire spectrum of hyper-entitled pieces of shit. Just don’t rape children and don’t protect child molesters. Don’t get them miraculously light sentences and neglect to tell their victims what you’ve done. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that your money or your position or your fake faith make it okay. If you haven’t done any of these things yet, just don’t. If you already have, get ready to receive your comeuppance. There’s going to be some Nuremberg-style repercussions for all these abusers of children and other human beings once this regime is toppled.

So, in short, my unsolicited advice for all Hyper-entitled Pieces of Shit and enablers of such: don’t allow yourselves to be pulled too far toward child raping. You run the risk of alienating undecided moderates.

This has been the Moment of Truth. Good day!

Moment of Truth

 

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